Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Camels & Bread Puddin'

 I'M BAAACK!


Sorry for not posting for a while- I was in Jordan!  The highlight by far was Petra.  I mean have you ever been on a CAMEL before?  There were also some tombs and a Treasury and a Monastery...now back to the camel.  That camel ride was exhilarating, inspiring, unbelievable, and life changing. 
But mostly, it was terrifying.  I mean, what if the badboy decided to go 0 to 60 in 3.5?  Just in case that happened, I sat up straight as a board and held on super tight.  The owner looked at me like I was crazy and just kept telling me to relax (and kill the Prime Minister of Malaysia!!!)  Another great part about the camel ride is that we ended up right in front of Petra's infamous treasury.  You may know it from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.  We watched it after we got back and now I have a new favorite quote: "You have chosen poorly."  I'll use it on my Israeli soldier boyfriend when he breaks up with me for a girl that actually speaks his language.  I know it's just a spring fling, but it doesn't mean it'll hurt any less...

CAMELS ARE MY LIFE

Petra was miserable at first because the sun wasn't out.  As usual, I started turning into a zombie and losing circulation in my fingers.  I wanted to pretend to rise out of a tomb, but was discouraged from doing so. Something about preserving ancient history by not climbing on antiquities?  I secretly think they were worried because I make such a convincing zombie. (Just ask my brother what I look like in the morning)

The high place for sacrifice
My favorite spot was the monastery.  My least favorite part was walking up the 800 steps to said monastery.  It was literally (looking at you, Chris Traeger) the worst trek I've ever made.  I told them to go on without me...Also, I was hangry after walking so much, so I may have said some things I want to forget.  To any and all cats I sent dirty looks, I sincerely apologize.  Your fur may be matted and dirty, but you still have feelings! (And you can probably really hurt me when provoked.)  I got food soon after that, no worries.  And the best part about where we ate lunch?  They had bread pudding! Our hotel in Amman also had bread pudding...and yes, I did eat a quadruple portion.  What can I say, I'm a sucker for some soggy bread!

My personal hell-stairs

While at the monastery, I pretended I was both Indiana Jones and a conqueror.  I have perfected my whipping sound- most of the time it either sounds like a cougar growl or a dying cow.  Guess my BYU All-Sports Pass was good for something- I never would have learned to make the growl without it!


The hotel in Amman, where we spent two nights after Petra, was pretty nice.  I was really stoked about being put in the "Prince Suite."  I'm sure people got sick of my "SUITE LIIIFE" comments, but I couldn't help myself.  I relaxed in a king size bed as one man fanned me with a palm frond and the other fed me bonbons.  Supposedly, the restaurant at the hotel had some sort of alcoholic dessert.  I searched far and wide for it did my best to stay away from it.  Hey, it all cooks out, right?  In Amman, we went to a beautiful indoor mall and I almost died after going to Mecca the MAC store.

Dat leg pop
The next day, we went to Jerash, the site of many ancient ruins (the most famous of which is Hadrian's Arch).  I enjoyed reenacting many of my favorite scenes from Hercules and pretending to be a Roman legion.  The weirdest thing was how some Jordanian men were playing bagpipes.  My brain couldn't quite comprehend it.  I thought only Scotsmen could play the bagpipes?  Like is it even physically possible for Jordanians to play them?  THEY DON'T HAVE RED HAIR!!


We are the muses, goddesses of the arts, and proclaimers of heroes


The last stop (with others in-between and KFC for lunch.  I won't dwell on it too long, but let's just say there's a reason I haven't had KFC in forever.  Even the french fries were soggy- dishonor on all of the Colonel's family!) was Bethany beyond Jordan.  While we were there, a man got baptized.  It was really peaceful and serene if you ignored the Israeli soldiers holding machine guns.  I wanted so badly to swim across the river, but my friends tried to convince me that the soldiers would hurt me.  I eventually decided not to do it only because the river was a unappealing shade of vomit.


As for Center news, I'm on my way to becoming a soccer star.  I know I said that about basketball, but I'm forreal(z?s?) this time.  I mean, how many people do you know that can juggle the ball 3 times without talking and only by concentrating really hard?  I also bought some genie pants the other day.  I think they're called that because they make people think there's just a big blob under them and not actually legs.  Or maybe they actually fuse your legs together with their genie magic.  Honestly, no one would know if that was the case based on how ill-fitting they are.  Mostly, I bought them so I can smuggle things- including, but not limited to chocolate pillows (the best cereal I've ever had), stray cats, candy, and more genie pants.          


 



6 comments:

  1. Best blog post yet! How did you get to be so lucky and pretty at the same time? Dad.

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  2. girl you look petra-fied on that camel

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  3. I've heard about those Jordanian bagpipers- isn't that the world-famous MacAbdul clan from the highlands?

    - John

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  4. 4 the record, I have been on a camel b4

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