Saturday, March 30, 2013

So This One Time I Went to Ephesus

Yello!  Get ready to get your mind blown by this awesome post!  Speaking of mind-blowing, I can't believe my March Madness bracket is so messed up.  I am a basketball fanatic- that means you can really appreciate the handsomeness of basketball players, right? Well, I chose my teams based on how connected I felt to them.  You know, like, (Random Super Small College of Eastern Montana.  Actually, I'm thinking that could be a future band name.  I call playing the tambourine!).  Well, I never like to dwell on my failures.  (Okay, seriously? I've only crashed into my house, like, three times, at the most.)  Let's do it to it!

Thursday, I woke up, scrambled to pack everything, and stuffed into my mouth like Bruce eating chocolate cake in Matilda ate some Digestives for breakfast.  They're this super delicious biscuit/cookie from England that supposedly also get things moving.  Feels like something I should be eating in a few decades, but I'm just such an old soul.  Okay, they're pretty delicious but to be honest I would have eaten real breakfast if I had the time.  I'm pretty sure they had real Nutella at breakfast, which would have been wonderful.  They serve us some chocolate imitation crap here.  I can't even eat it, so you know it must be bad.  (This is coming from the girl who wrote PEZ candy on her Christmas list one year.  And, man, did my relatives deliver!  A whole shoebox full of PEZ? Yes, please!)  So, our first stop was the Basilica of St. John.  From there you can see one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World- the Temple of Artemis.  Nowadays, it's just a baby marsh with turtles and storks living in it.  Hey, if my house turns out to be an animal sanctuary, I'll think my life turned out okay.
Chillin' in an ancient pot
Then, we bussed it over to the big kahuna- Ephesus!  What what.  It was cold in the morning, but once we got to Ephesus, it got a lot warmer.   I probably got warmer because I was committing so much to my many acting projects.  Walking Dead, Ephesus style?  It happened.  Harlem Shake in the ruins?  You know it.  Getting booked by a casting agent for the part of "Weird Dancing American Girl?"  Well, it was actually for "Turkey's Next Top Model," but I told them my schedule is just too hectic given I also have to rehearse for the Walking Dead.  I've decided that I'm best suited to play a zombie.  Okay, and I know I will get a bigger part in the Walking Dead.  I'll start off small as an extra, and gradually become to head zombie.  And you want to know why?  Because I can commit. Seriously, I laid down in a wet and muddy tomb all in the name of cinematic masterpiece!   

Ugh, my butt is so wet right now

Ephesus has lots of great ruins, like the large library, the first advertisement ever (for prostitution, but we'll disregard that lil' detail), and the huge amphitheater.  Naturally, I had to wrestle in there.  Some people sang, but I prefer the unorthodox routes of life.  For example, I think oatmeal raisin cookies can sometimes be on the same level as chocolate chip.  Don't you go throwing stones at me- raisins are wonderful things!  I took many pictures of cats (what else is new? maybe I should send all of my suitors to this blog so they can see if they can know what they're getting themselves into.  I just don't want my husband to be surprised when he's greeted by 20 cats in the morning!)  

Cheesin' with a kitty

Omg we're like totally twinners in the amphitheater!

Also in Ephesus?  The infamous picture in the back of LDS Bibles-not gonna lie, it was pretty cool.  And, plenty of sculpture re-enactments.  They're extra great when you ask randos to take the picture (like the zombie ones) and they laugh at how weird you are.  Hey, I'll take a pity/you are so weird laugh any day!  As long as I get my picture, that's all that matters at the end of the day.  

A lion "draped" (loose interpretation) around Hercules

Later in the day, we hit up Prienne.  There were gray columns/rocks and I got in trouble for walking through the forest.  Call me Sacajawea.  I mean, just last night I tried lemon ice cream! (and promptly spit it out and then ate 5 bowls of chocolate.  My definition of "adventure" isn't too crazy- you won't see me cutting off my own arm ala "127 Hours" anytime soon.)  We went back to the hotel later and I ate 5 billion Digestives because I'm in love, I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!

 It's Friday, people!  (What my history teacher would say every week in a really funny voice.  And yes, it is a good story in person.  You just had to be there okay?)  On Friday it rained and rained and rained some more for good measure.  All the girls huddled together to stay warm/dry-ish.  Sardis was the site of an ancient temple, I believe.  Look, I didn't take many pictures and most of my energy was spent trying to conserve my body heat/do this thing where you imagine yourself drinking hot chocolate and it makes your body temperature increase dramatically.*  When we went to Thyatira, I stopped being a wimp and I embraced the rain.  We all fought in the gymnasium ruins like cool kids.

We love Bro. Schade!

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful.  I got a good few hours of sleeping on the bus.  We went to the Grand Mosque, which was pretty mosque-y.  Beautiful calligraphy, people taking their siestas (or the Muslim equivalent).  Then, we shopped around.  When I pictured shops, though, I can't say I immediately thought of random underwear vendors or vests meant for the fashion-challenged (of course my friends just had to buy them and a shopkeeper asked if they were presents for their grandmothers.  I was like my grandmas are fashionable, they wouldn't wear those crazy things!  Shout out to the Gs!).  For dessert, we had profiteroles and I almost passed out from happiness.  Psh, yeah, right.  I couldn't pass out because I had to steal everyone else's who left a few crumbs!   

Saturday was the best/worst day of my life.  If you're waiting for me to say I'm kidding, think again!  The whole day was freezing cold/rainy.  That was obviously the "worst" part of it all.  Luckily, I'm the smartest little cookie Digestive I know so I wore a thin skirt and my even thinner rain jacket.  And I wonder how I got pneumonia in the 10th grade...We visited Nicea (Nicean Creed, what up!) and then drove to Istanbul.  We made it to the Hagia Sophia with 10 minutes to closing.  The place was incredible and huge.  The mosaics were well-preserved also.  The one downside of it/certain sites in Turkey was that there were so many tourists.  Like, get out of here!

After the Hagia Sophia, we were given free time until dinner.  Uncharacteristically, I did not want to go shopping.  Well, I did, but mostly I was focused on surviving.  I wouldn't make it more than 5 minutes in the Hunger Games.  Most of you know I have this thing where the blood drains from my fingers and it's just really unpleasant (I know, crying a river over here).  I have zero tolerance for the cold and was a wreck.  Then, I saw it.  Mecca.  No, heaven.  No, STARBUCKS.  It was like nothing else mattered and I almost got down and kissed the floor but I didn't want to seem too excited.  That's what they tell you to do in the shops here- if you act like you love something (even though you really do and you honestly NEED those pink elephant harem pants or you're going to cry), then they will be much more likely to rip you off.  But, I digress.  I ordered my regular hot chocolate, and slowly became a human again.  I even got a new name- Tase!  Language barrier + uncommon name= great interpretations of it on coffee cups!  Once I got my strength/personality back, I was ready to conquer the Bazaar!  That's right, the great news was that we could return!  We had a little more than two hours, which was plenty of time to get some amazing things and make it back to the bus with seconds to spare.

Dinner was very controversial/polarizing.  You see, they served us a whole fish for dinner.  I like fish but there was this one time a fish bone got stuck in my throat and it was not comfortable.  I thought the fish was pretty tasty, but many people disagreed.  Some insane and disgusting people ate the eyeballs........(I was waiting for people to stop gagging but then I realized that my uncles would probably do that).  We went from dinner to the airport, where we just chilled until our red eye at 1 A.M.  We stumbled back to the JC around 4 A.M. and promptly crashed.  And, that my friends, sums up an amazing week!

I was so excited/hungry that my mouth couldn't stay closed...
Thanks for your patience in my posting and I will try really hard to post again (it would have to be  tomorrow so don't hold your breath) before we leave for Galilee!! I have a paper due and it's Easter, but whatevs.  Also on the agenda for tomorrow?  Garden Tomb Easter service at 6:30 and soccer with Palestinian children.  I love my life!

*So, I haven't been to medical school, but I do watch every episode of Grey's Anatomy.  Mostly, I love hot chocolate so I'd say I'm pretty qualified.   


  1. A Muslim siesta. Too funny. Dad

  2. I'm having a special Easter too - with my family. Love, Grandma and Grandpa.

    (Grandma has a new iPad now!)